Conversations We Need: Diabetes and Our Mental Health

We need to acknowledge that actively managing our mental health is also an integral part of living with diabetes. All the physical and medical demands that come with diabetes care can make it easy to ignore the emotional and mental stresses. But that’s risky. Ignoring how we’re feeling and what we’re thinking can be just as detrimental as ignoring checking our glucose levels or taking our medicine.

That’s why we need to talk about diabetes and our mental health.

Mental Health Is a Frequent Concern

People with diabetes are significantly more likely to experience mental health concerns. Depression, anxiety, disordered eating, and stress are commonly experienced. Obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior can hide behind the label of “tight control.” If left unaddressed, mental health issues will undermine our ability to manage our diabetes.

Mental health issues make it harder to maintain any routines, healthy or otherwise. The mental fog and malaise they bring undermines self-care, proper eating and sleeping habits, and even the ability to move our bodies.

When our mental health becomes an issue we lose focus and motivation. This gets in the way of keeping up with the regular self-care and check ups we need. Ultimately, everything gets disrupted and we are left stagnant. Even our ability to seek healthcare and support can go away.

Caregivers Are Also Affected

People living with diabetes aren’t the only ones experiencing the negative effects of the constant stress and strain of living with diabetes. Our caregivers can also become anxious and depressed, undermining their ability to help and support us.

In caring for us, both physically and emotionally, our caregivers also experience the relentlessness of diabetes and can come to have feelings of anger, doubt, and remorse. These feelings, when left unaddressed, are often expressed disruptively as intrusive nagging or attempts to take control of our behavior.

Have Regular Check Ins

Just like we check our glucose levels and medication dosing, we also need to regularly check in on our mental and emotional states.

Short conversations about how the day went or how we’re feeling offer an opportunity to create a safe place to talk about our feelings and concerns. Checking in on these topics regularly helps clear the air, relieve distress, and avoid spiraling toward mental illness.

Here are a few suggestions about how to have regular, helpful mental health conversations.

Find a safe place and appropriate time to have a check in. 

These might not be conversations to have in public or when in a group. Some level of privacy might be needed.  Find a quiet point during the day to check in.

Ask simple questions, but follow up. 

Asking “How are you feeling?” or “How was your day?” can be a good starting point. But don’t simply accept a one-word response, like “fine” or “okay.

Listen more than problem solve. 

Sometimes just saying your day sucked is enough to keep stress from becoming distress. Not every diabetes problem has an easily or available solution. Talking about “what ifs” and “how about trying this” can sometimes just add to the frustration.

Make it a two-way conversation. 

Both people with diabetes and caregivers are affected. Both need to have an outlet for discussing their experiences and emotions. Share and ask.

Be honest. 

Avoid minimizing or whitewashing situations and feelings. Some days diabetes sucks. Managing all that it demands can be hard. Acknowledging what’s bothering you is the first step in coping and moving toward resolution. 

Acknowledge efforts made. 

Don’t just praise what went well. As we all know diabetes can’t be controlled, it can only be managed. Praise wins, no matter how large or small. But also encourage continuing to make the effort to actively manage diabetes, even if it might be messy or the results are less than expected.

If you see something truly concerning, say something. 

Obsessive-compulsive behaviors, disordered eating, clinical depression, emotional distress. Addressing and resolving these serious mental health issues can require more than regular conversations and coping skills. If you see disturbing behaviors or hear the person express suicidal thoughts it’s time to reach out to a mental health professional for help.

Keep the Open Conversation Going

Regular, safe conversation about how diabetes is affecting your mood and emotions is as important as checking glucose levels or taking medication. They build coping skills and lift mood. However, if mood and motivation reach a stage where you no longer can cope, recognize that it’s time to seek professional help.

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide or experiencing a mental health crisis, in the U.S. you can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741.