Growing Old with Diabetes

Aging is unavoidable. People with diabetes have more to be concerned about than those without. When is a good time to start having conversations about aging with diabetes? Here's some advice. 

As we age, all of us face the possibility of decline. From strong to frail. From clear-headed to fuzzy. From being totally in control of our diabetes management to… To what?

And that’s what’s so frightening. 

There’s no predicting how age will affect us. We all want to think we’ll be clear-headed and able-bodied to our last breath. But, in reality, that’s unlikely. 

Gerontologists talk about the progression of aging: from functionally independent to functionally dependent, and finally becoming frail. With diabetes, that means going from being able to manage our diabetes care on our own or with minimal help, to requiring some assistance, to becoming completely dependent on someone. But gerontologists themselves admit that the pace at which people with diabetes age varies widely.

Dealing With the Uncertainty of Aging With Diabetes

Thinking about aging with diabetes inevitably emotions will get stirred up.

We start asking ourselves: How long will I be able to continue managing my diabetes on my own? Will I recognize when it’s time for me to hand over some of that responsibility? How will my partner, grown children, and/or caregiver know what I do and don’t want done as I age?

These are not easy questions with clear answers. The “best” responses will be highly personal. Some of those responses might be difficult or messy.

Yet we need to grapple with them. We need to face the inevitability of age and infirmity and puzzle out what’s most important to us in life and who we trust to help us in the end.

Building an Aging Support System

Where do we start? We start with building ourselves a support system of people who we can count on as we age.

This group can be made up of a wide range of people, each one fulfilling a different role. They can be spouses or partners, family members, friends, medical professionals, religious or spiritual advisors, financial advisors, or lawyers.

Knowing that we have people we can count on when we need help or can no longer do for ourselves helps make aging more manageable.

Start Having Conversations About Aging With Diabetes

It’s never too soon to start having conversations, difficult and otherwise, with the people you are counting on to be your support system as you age. It will take more than one conversation to sort out your plans for aging with diabetes and how they can support you on that journey.

Start having these conversations now. Don’t wait until a crisis to start, because that may be too late.

As you engage in these conversations, consider the following:

• Choose a time and place when you all are relaxed and have time to listen and engage.
• Be open and honest — even if that leaves you feeling vulnerable.
• Be prepared to respond to questions and concerns — even if the response is “I don’t know right now.”
• Be prepared to educate and inform people in your support group about diabetes and how you take care of yourself.
• Talk in a group and one-on-one, but make sure everyone has the same understanding of your plans and wishes.
• Make a plan, but be flexible when that plan needs to change.
• Don’t try to resolve everything in one go.

Keep Those Conversations Going as You Age

All of us will face the slippery slope of aging with diabetes at some point.

Perhaps our biggest fear is losing control over our lives. But by letting the people around us know our wishes and making plans, we can influence how we go through the aging process. Start having conversations with the people in your life and keep them going for as long as possible.